This has been eagerly awaited… maybe just by me… but still the eagerness is there… What has been new in my life… hmmmmmmmmmmmm well first of all i must talk about the reason i am blogging from barnoldswick and not manchester. This is the same reason as to why i watch top gear and sky sports news on the hour every hour and then through the night. I am still ill with tb and crohns and i still suffer from intense stomach pains… This means for most of the day im just laying in bed with a pillow over my stomach and im just waiting for the pain to go and then once it passes i try to eat a bit and then go back to sleep!!! its a good life compared to the life of all you people doing all the university final year work (im lying of course i’d well rather be in manchester!!!!)

Yesterday i went to next to go and get my sister a birthday present… and after 4 minutes of walking around looking for something i actually felt like i was gonna throw up and got dizzy so i just went home with nothing… (by the way happy day after your birth sadia… i did plan on publishing this yesterday but instead i started watching love actually and then 8 out of 10 cats… sorry!!!) I have an appointment tomorrow where im going to ask if there isnt anything he can give to get rid of the stomach pain… the problem being that the medicine for crohns makes the tb in my body a lot worse but i have been on tb meds for about a month now and surely them meds should have done something… So i am hopeful that i am going to be better soon… My mother and father and auntie all want me to go and stay in hospital for like a week until i start eating properly etc… i refuse to as everytime im in hospital i dont like it… it depresses me and its just all round not a nice place to be!!!

Well so now its that time where i divulge all the information of what has been going on in my life since the last time i blogged… FYI i havent been lazy i have been quite badly ill hence why i havent been blogging but im going to miss most of the depressing ill details and push onto more fun WOOOOOOOOOOOOO details… Well where i left in my blogging bonanza last time was the mush dot co dot uk… the biggest waste of money on a birthday present ever… These were the good days when i was still at university living the life chilling top billing (whatever that means)  then the weekend after that i went home cause i started feeling ill again… Then i reappeared on the thursday for mohsin’s/zaf’s/sal’s birthday which was an all boys bonanza… it was a top laugh actually and it was after the magical semi final against man city and so we were all buzzing about wayne rooney… It was a good laugh but after that night i was a lot iller i went a lot of steps backwards… then i went for two birthday bonanza’s for ya man atafarellis birthday once with amer (aka poops)and once with sadif(aka poops) khuram(aka poops) sajid(aka poops) imran(aka poops) manzar(aka poops) majid(aka poops)… it was a good do on both times really good laughs… and then after that i got ya man asjad his birthday present which i still havent given him cause then on the day of his birthday i started projectile vomiting everywhere!!! it wasnt the best time i have had on asjads birthday!!! so unfortunately i couldnt make it but im sure in the summer i can succesfully photoshop myself into them pictures to make it seem like i was there!!!

Inbetween i have been chilling with khuram or ataf amz and kaz or sadif or manzar or mohsin or gobz actually i have to say all the crew have been very good to me since i have been ill like ibz, zahid, muddy, adeel, aneesa, nayab,  chantelle, zainab, hamzah, oun,  majid, imran, zaf and issy all keep in touch and ask how i am and its always nice when you hear people are wondering how you are it infaltes your ego big time!!! Even laura told me to update my blog and i was actually doing it at that time and that just freaked me out and made me feel like i was being watched… i closed the curtains in my room after that message!!! In other news i am going to see RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE IN FINSBURY PARK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THE FREE CONCERT!!!!!! COURTESY OF AMER DITTA!!! Me amer and sadif are going to be in london in june proper mashing it up and the best thing about it being that khuram khawer saqub ataf and mohsin are all going to be piling down with us!!! Should be a top laugh!!! I am also going to see jason manford aswell… see being ill means you get great presents… That is proven by how ataf got me a ipod touch for when i wasnt feeling well!!! it was a very moving moment… there were all kinds of different tears!!! My sister also got my some clothes which i am buzzing off at the moment!!!

So what does the future hold for me? well at the moment i think its more likely that i wont be finishing my final year this year… and ill have to repeat it next year but im not giving up and i hope to be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat and finishing this year and so my therefore i can graduate this year… Luckily my dad has said to me these legendary words “look at ataf kashaf and sadia… they spent 5,6 even 7 years at uni… you still have 5 years to finish this final year” that made me laugh as it reminded me that even i spend four years it still means i would have spent the least time in uni   But i am hoping to go to manchester to see the boys… i just need to make myself feel better hundred percent before i go back out in the real world!!!

Back to university with a bang if im brutally honest… Me and mohsin did our full human factors coursework in one day… From 8 til 8… banged it out big time… It made me realise how shit students we are… Why did we leave it til last minute… we had full christmas holidays… i was ill but still… proper shit… The real funny thing was on the sunday… instead of doing work… Me, Mohsin, Asjad and Ibrar instead of doing work had a ridiculosly top laugh reminiscing and that… Doing it big time… Ibrar literally put himself in to the legendary status as did asjad with a little combination which left all of us rolling on the floor laughing our asses off (or in computer lingo ROFLMAO) It was literally too much… My sides were aching and are still hurting now… i laugh just thinking about it… MOMENT OF THE DECADE!!!

Went to work aswell. On my third return back after illness… I think there getting sick of my return from illness’s if im honest… Me and ibrar absolutely cained saturday when we ripped sarah to shreads… She broke the lottery machine and me and ibrar like the helpful employees we are just laughed at her non stop and kept being ridiculosly unhelpful. Then on sunday i made a legendary moo noise whilst ibrar was doing the announcement to close the store and then zaf went mental and scared all the customers…  It was a fun weekend back at work if im honest with you…

Went to doctors today and i got good news! The doctor said i was improving and the treatment was being succesful and hopefully has put my crohns into remission… After i finish my course of steriods i shall be 3 weeks without meds to see if it is in remission properly… but the tests results are looking positives… Im still going to the rest of the tests they have scheduled just to make sure its not anything else…Insh’Allah this new year will be a better year for me healthwise… I am looking forward to meeting Hamzah now cant wait to go see him… Had lunch with alfie today… too much… He is an absolute legend… Chilling with him big time… When i went to work he literally didnt do a little bit of work it was class…

Really now i need to get cracking into my uni work… I am really now going to have get my final year project started… Ironically though i am writing this as a way to put off doing my work… I have to say uni work is really ann0ying me now… i hate doing work… why am i in education… The weather is the biggest deterrent to do work… The big freeze is a lot colder then everyone anticipated… I for certain didnt expect how cold it actually ended up being… And now for tomorrow i need to find the quickest way spend my loan money so im thinking of buying clothes and whatnot… then tomorrowa monopoly session is going down with the manchester boys I literally cant wait for that… infact im going to google monopoly tips in preperation for tomorrow…

So, its been awile since i last narrated a blog. Actually let me explain why i am narrating this blog entry. The answer being boredom on Chantelle’s part, lazyness on Tariq’s part and finally intrigument on Zahid’s part. So lets start with the talk of the town. Saeed’s birthday bonanza aka The Greatest Birthday Ever! Some of the things which happened that night are never to be spoken of again by those involved. So unfortunatly i cant share as much as i would like, but it was a truly memorable and bonding experience (thanks Zahid for that word.) And then even after Saeed had left and the bonanza had finished, the fun carried on till the early hours with the legendary team game of who could think of the most ‘ate’ words (pause for we had to explain the game for Zahid) It was one of my most memorable nights in manchester to date. P.S the presents were too much. P.P.S the food at zouk’s was amazing, the steak was too nice, in fact thats the little picture im going to put up on the side Now on to the next bonanza…

ZAHIDS BIRTHDAY BO-NAN-ZA! Started off with a mass battle between Chantelle and Zaf, along the lines of  ‘Why dont you drink?’ A vicious assault from Zaf which resulted in me, Mohsin and Riz having to stick up for Chantelle and ask the same question to Zaf, why doesnt he drink?! Also, unfortunatly some of the Saeed birthday bonanza shenanigans were brought into Zahids birthday bonanza and the results werent pleasant for all involved (im being intentionally vague for my readers, i wish to protect you from this VILE… thing!) Then we went to Akbars aka Rudebars but their service was shocking, there was no take your time, no feel free to stick around, it was sit down, order, eat, do one! That lack of time in ordering led me and Talli to rush and pick a dish which was not right for us and our needs of what we wanted to eat. At this point i was dreaming of being back in time 24 hours to the real birthday bonanza (just kidding for Zahid, i really enjoyed the rude waiters) Then we went to Shisha and that was wicked. Me, Riz and H did karaoke without a karaoke machine. The whole shisha cafe looked at us disgustedly as we were ruining their shisha music experience. We replied by singing louder “We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love!!!!”  Then it turned 12 oclock and we gave Zahid birthday wishes and majority of us unfortunatly had to disperse as some had to go home and others had pressing matters. FYI on that thursday i got my first last year assignment mark back and me and Mohsin and Talha and Giorgio and Mattia got 75%. Very proud to say the least, ecstatic to say the most, anything in between is a medium answer.

Now on to this week at Manchester (Barlick was standard) Monday morning started with the new Zahid, waking up before 9am, 8.22 to be precise. Going for breakfast and then going into uni for before 10am and then staying in university until 5.30pm (pause for shock to wear off) The guy kicked it. Shame he didnt do any work. Then me, H, Muddy, Zahid and Mohsin embarked on one of the greatest walks home i have ever experienced. Again, i shall protect my readers from some of the obscenities that were used but a comment i made about Zahid had H in such laughter i thought he was gonna die. Then we chilled at night and i felt it was up to me to now try and get the second slacker to go to university. So i set my eyes firmly on Chantelle and i knew there was one thing that motivated her… Food! (only joking) I offered Chantelle a meal to come in to university at 9oclock and low and behold at 9oclock like clockwork she was ringing the bell and getting herself in and ready to go to university with Ibrar. Then at uni i went into the library and low and behold she was in the library doing work! The shock on my face was priceless! So after watching liverpool getting knocked out of the Champions league (hahahahahah) me and Chantelle went to Nandos and had a tremendous meal and nice and revealing talk. Then we went back to the house and heard all about TNF (Tuesday night football) Zahid says (“not I say its a fact, i played awesomly, this is aside from the quotations i scored 3 goals in 3 minutes or was it 2 minutes, no just put 3 minutes”) In my opinion its just a cheap friday night football althought there are disagreements in Manchester and Mohsin did soil the name, the good name, of friday night football ratings with his shoddy, disgraceful twitter post! Today i chilled with aneesa and chantelle and ibrar and told the truth… It was a very good laugh we had me and ibrar are too much at telling the truth…

So whats upcoming in the life of  Tariq? Thats the question Chantelle just asked me (Chantelle says thats a lie, but i lie on my website my readers should know that) I replied enthusiastically, Eid on friday, going home early on thursday. i have no Eid clothes thought, dissapointed. Then back to work on saturday and sunday have a big few weeks now til christman holidays, need to do alot of work. Hopefully i should get good grades. Now, we are hoping Zahid gets motivated and hands in a brilliant assignment, hoping being the key word.

(Narrated by Tariq Ahmed)

(Written by Chantelle Khaliq)